It was kind of, sort of like a love letter. And probably close to one of my favorite things I’ve ever received. It was kind of corny, maybe, but I love it, and I’m going to replicate it on here because I feel the need to share it.
I know this has been a ridiculously long time coming, but I wanted my letter to you to be perfect. I thought I had it nailed down, but today at 2:15pm, my Great Aunt Verna died. She was almost 92 years old. 3 days later and she would’ve made it a sold 92, but I’ll let her slide. I wanted to include this because today I’ve felt some sensations/emotions that were wholly new to me, and you seemed right to tell.
When I spoke to my dad about coming home for the funeral, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was just stopping in to say ‘hi,’ not to watch Verna’s lifeless body be lowered into the ground.
It’s odd, as I write this, that ‘I Think Ur A Contra’ comes on my playlist. I can’t clench my hands; they don’t want to grip anything but air, as if afraid anything else they touch will die.
For no particular reason i dressed up today, just arbitrarily deciding to look nice. I feel like I unknowingly dressed in honor of the day, as if I was destined for it.
I’m sorry about rambling, this all has me a bit scatterbrained. More to the point, I don’t miss you anymore. That doesn’t half describe how badly I wish I could just be near enough to you to hear you breathe. I get short of breath sometimes because of how badly the feeling overtakes me. Whatever force possesses me about you, it has me in an absolute grip of steel.
I know you live your life apart from mine, and that our lives are moving in very different directions. I
can’t won’t let your memory fade from me, no matter what course the Marines chart me on, though.
I’m sorry for dredging up the matter, but I couldn’t check myself any longer. This summer I go away for the most intense training of my entire life, and I wanted to ask if I could see you just one more time before I jump into the furnace and burn for six weeks of hell. It may be selfish of me, but I wanted to have one strong memory of you to help me through the hard times, through the trails that will test every ounce of my soul and character. If not, still know that I love you; I always will.
Remembering Your Piercing Eyes,
*Edit: I finally wrote back tonight. It was sent over a year ago.
This is a VERY inconvenient time.
In this world of hate, to be ignorant to anything but love.
I wish I had answered this sooner.
Guuurl, I luuhhhh you teww <3
Here’s to hoping it’s a good one.